Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Where Have I Been?

I am not sick, I am not in crisis; I am in the middle of a life, that includes at least three other people in it, and right now, they have to come first.

When I started this blog thing, a little over a year ago, I didn't know whether I would like it, stick with it, etc. It's been a learning experience, to say the least! I've found that I cycle through assorted emotions about blogging. Some days I could sit down and write two or three posts, other days I just want to walk away, and through it all I still have another job. I am a mom. A full-time, stay at home mom, and I take it seriously. There is no dropping the kids off at day care, or picking up take-out for dinner in my job. I make just about every meal we eat from scratch; I bake every cookie my family eats; I make and pack every lunch my kids eat; I check every page of homework, and help troubleshoot projects that are looming. I run our lives and it's my job to make sure everything goes smoothly.

So right now, I'm not here in the blogosphere, because I'm at work. This upcoming weekend we will be kicking off the holidays with a whirlwind trip to Richmond, to celebrate the 100th birthday of my husband's grandmother. She didn't make it to her 100th birthday - she died a week and a half ago - but her family stills wants to remember her and celebrate her life.

The very next day, we have to be back in Raleigh for my parents 50th anniversary. It is an occasion that has many gradations of emotion to it, and not all of them are happy emotions, but some of them are, and we will be there with our happy faces on.

The day after that, I'm throwing my annual Solstice party, which has become a family tradition over the years, and is usually quite jolly. This one promises to be the biggest Solstice party ever, due to the large number of out-of-town guests coming for the 50th bash. I'm a little frazzled - I've never hosted a sit-down dinner for 40 before - but so far (knock on wood) everything is getting done on schedule.

I have been cleaning, baking, wrapping, shopping, planning, for a month, on top of my usual job requirements. We lost a precious weekend of getting ready because we had to attend the funeral for my husband's grandmother, and I've had the dubious responsibility of assembling a pictoral slide show for the 50th bash as well.

So you see, as much as I love this blog, and all my blog-buds, I've had to put it all on the back burner for the time being. I'm wrestling with whether or not I want to continue as well - one cannot deny that blogging requires a fair chunk of time to do it well, and I have to decide whether or not it's worth spending the time on, and how to do that without shirking my real job. No doubt, I will be back, but how often remains to be seen.