Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Procrastination - It's not just for breakfast anymore

Two weeks until the big party at my house - the one for my mom's 70th birthday. Oh hell yes, it's total mayhem, so what else is new? But at least no one has the swine flu (currently) (knock on wood). also, nothing like having a two week deadline to get that damn kitchen painted! It's actually kind of peaceful painting - it's something I can control, unlike all the douchebags (did I say that outloud?) who have yet to RSVP my invitation. They aren't my friends, but apparently they aren't my mother's friends either - grrr, assholes do vex me! Kind of hard to know how much seafood to order when you still have 20 invitations outstanding. Can I just yell "ASSHOLES" once? Thanks, I feel better now.

Well, okay, maybe not.
I had a hormonal meltdown last week - didn't hurt that the husband was an ass on our anniversary weekend - he has that kind of timing - but I went mental. It was kind of scary, even to me. I was fingering sharp blades and thinking dark, dark thoughts, which is what not sleeping for three weeks will get you, my lads.

I talked to my sister and she thought I might need to get on board with some progesterone and hydroxy-triptifan (it makes serotonin, which makes you sleepy), since it sounded like I was knee-deep in the glamourous world of peri-menopause. Because it's such affirming thing to be a woman, as it is, right? She's probably right, and a little research confirmed it, so now I'm smearing progesterone cream on myself eery night and popping hydroxy-triptifan capsules before bedtime, and guess what? I still can't sleep at night. I think I might be hard-wired to be a vampire. I think I might also be stressing over getting this party off the ground - it's how I roll - I haven't hit the Jimmy Crack Corn portion of the program yet, but I'm sure I will soon.

Oh crap, and it's Halloween this Saturday. I love Halloween, but I just don't have time for it this year. I told Chanda that I wished we could just hide out at her house, watch movies and eat all the candy we're supposed to give out. She was jiggy with that, but I don't think the guys will be!

Ah well, I guess it's back to work now - I can only procrastinate for so long, right?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

My Lips Are Sealed, Dammit

The problem with blogs is that they're open to the world, so I can't lean over and whisper the latest dirt to you, dear reader, because the dirt-ee might be tuning in.


Because there is so much shite going on all around me right now, and I would love to spill, but I might just get my somewhat diminished and toned, but still bulbous ass into trouble. So I can't. I have to just sit here, staring at the screen, going, "Ah damn! Nope, can't write about that! Might be incriminating evidence in a court of law. Nope, it'll be my luck that she'll pop in here, so I can't dish about "Miss C", either."

I can tell you that planning and executing my mother's 70th birthday blowout will probably mean I won't be seeing my extended family again until the 11th hour of the Christmas holidays, because I'm going to need to take a leave of absence once it's over. (So probably no Solstice party kids, sorry, but it's on a damn Monday anyway - who would even come?) I haven't received a single RSVP for said party yet, which means (maybe) it'll be a small party (I hope), but OMG, if you'ld seen the guest list, either way, it's going to be a clash of cultures. I'm thinking maybe I should hire a band, to cover the uncomfortable silences and lack of mingling. What was I thinking? If I get the flu will I still have to be hostess? (Answers: Who the hell knows, and yep, most likely.)

Oh, and ask me if I've done SHIT to get the kitchen finished.
Funny you should ask: um, nope. Nada, el zippo. And guess what? Jimmy Crack Corn, ya'll!

I'm just swimming in the apathy right now, and dang it, it's like bathwater - I really don't care if I prune up in here.

So if you really want to know the dirt, you'll have to send your email, and I'll send you the unpublished story of who might be doing jail time, and what "Miss C's" latest caper is, because OMFG kids, who needs cable, around here anyway?

***Yet Another OMFG Update***
-one I CAN post-
The Hub man has been sick with a fever that doesn't want to fully respond to Tylenol or Motrin. Other than the fever, there hasn't been a lot of other symptoms, especially respiratory-based symptoms, just really tired and feverish. He went to the doctor today, and guess the hell what? Yes, the most obvious answer here is that he has the H1N1 virus, aka the Swine Flu. Does that mean we have to quarantine the whole house now, or just him? Does this also mean that he can't bogart the TV remote for the duration? Funny, thing, this kind of cheers me up!

Monday, October 5, 2009


Hey, keep your voice down, I don't want to attract any attention.

Forgive me Father, it's been - how long? 5 months since I blogged. Wow, time just zips the hell on by, when you're out of the house and knee-deep in La Vita Loca. Or more accurately, La Vita Broka. But as nice as huge piles of cash would look, lying around the house, I can't complain.

Life IS good.
The guys are doing well in school, making friends and good grades.
The Gorilla-man (aka, the hub) and I are solid. Getting ready to celebrate 18 years this month. How the hell that happened? Beats me - I'm just working for the weekend, you know?

I'm also almost 30 pounds slimmer and a lot stronger than I was back in May.
When I joined the gym in mid-May, I could barely reach down to tie my shoes, I got winded walking a block, and I felt like I was suffocating everytime I lay down to sleep. Now, I'm busting ass for an hour and a half at the gym 4 times a week - getting the heartrate up and lifting weights, and I feel better than I've ever felt before.

Bea has been right there as well, though she goes at night and I go during the day (except for Saturday and Sunday, when we go together). I think she's lost about the same - I know we both have funhouse mirror perspectives about ourselves, but I can tell she's gotten trimmer, more compact. We are just getting better and better all the time, and by this next spring, we are going to be a pair of buff bitches. "Yeah, that's the ticket!"

I've thought about coming back in and writing - I like writing, and when I do it consistently, I can see how much better I get at it. But the hours of time spent socializing with other bloggers, while interesting, insightful, fun even, it's time away from my real life. When my eldest son told me last spring, "Wow Mom, you sure spend a lot of time on the computer blogging. You must really like it," I had the wake-up call. Because there is nothing more important to me than making sure my kids feel like they have my full attention when they need it, and honestly? Being in the blogger groove was making that mission statement a bald lie.

I miss you guys, no, I really do. I want to find a way to continue blogging, but not compromise the job I do as a mom and a wife, and a friend. I can't guarantee I'll be here every week, or that I'll be on top of reading your posts as soon as they publish, but I will be there, albeit late (So what else is new, right?!)