Thursday, October 8, 2009

My Lips Are Sealed, Dammit

The problem with blogs is that they're open to the world, so I can't lean over and whisper the latest dirt to you, dear reader, because the dirt-ee might be tuning in.


Because there is so much shite going on all around me right now, and I would love to spill, but I might just get my somewhat diminished and toned, but still bulbous ass into trouble. So I can't. I have to just sit here, staring at the screen, going, "Ah damn! Nope, can't write about that! Might be incriminating evidence in a court of law. Nope, it'll be my luck that she'll pop in here, so I can't dish about "Miss C", either."

I can tell you that planning and executing my mother's 70th birthday blowout will probably mean I won't be seeing my extended family again until the 11th hour of the Christmas holidays, because I'm going to need to take a leave of absence once it's over. (So probably no Solstice party kids, sorry, but it's on a damn Monday anyway - who would even come?) I haven't received a single RSVP for said party yet, which means (maybe) it'll be a small party (I hope), but OMG, if you'ld seen the guest list, either way, it's going to be a clash of cultures. I'm thinking maybe I should hire a band, to cover the uncomfortable silences and lack of mingling. What was I thinking? If I get the flu will I still have to be hostess? (Answers: Who the hell knows, and yep, most likely.)

Oh, and ask me if I've done SHIT to get the kitchen finished.
Funny you should ask: um, nope. Nada, el zippo. And guess what? Jimmy Crack Corn, ya'll!

I'm just swimming in the apathy right now, and dang it, it's like bathwater - I really don't care if I prune up in here.

So if you really want to know the dirt, you'll have to send your email, and I'll send you the unpublished story of who might be doing jail time, and what "Miss C's" latest caper is, because OMFG kids, who needs cable, around here anyway?

***Yet Another OMFG Update***
-one I CAN post-
The Hub man has been sick with a fever that doesn't want to fully respond to Tylenol or Motrin. Other than the fever, there hasn't been a lot of other symptoms, especially respiratory-based symptoms, just really tired and feverish. He went to the doctor today, and guess the hell what? Yes, the most obvious answer here is that he has the H1N1 virus, aka the Swine Flu. Does that mean we have to quarantine the whole house now, or just him? Does this also mean that he can't bogart the TV remote for the duration? Funny, thing, this kind of cheers me up!


Ben and Bennie said...

First on the list: benwaddell at bellsouth dot net

Heather said...

Hmm. I have to admit I am intrigued.

H1N1? What works best for you? Hub quarantine or exile from the world.

I like exile.

we_be_toys said...

Bennie: You know how to make me laugh! Glad you got the email OMFG - did I tell you, or what?

Heather: I prefer exile. That's why I'm considerably cheered. For the inside poop, I need an email address (think of it as virtual kaffe klatch. I can eat the address after, if you want!)

FairiesNest said...

Hey I believe that I have RSVPeed! I know this family is like a Peyton Place sometimes! I hope the big guy is feeling better are the kids?

Arizaphale said...

carolyn at jaba dot com dot au

Aka Princess Nosy!!! And I love Miss C (if it's who I think it is..) because she has the same name as my BA!

And as for swine flu. Meh. We are SO over it here. Everyone has had it you know. Tell him he's not THAT special :-D

BrightenedBoy said...

Do people you know read your blog? That has to be rough--I think most of us are anonymous for this specific purpose.

Gypsy said...

Poor hubs.

Anonymous said...

I go away for a couple weeks, and here you are, blogging again!

So nice to see you, sis.

You've got my email, if you want to send along the OMFG . . .

smooches . . .

A Free Man said...

Tell me about it. I've been struggling with the whole not being able to say what I want to say for a week or so now. An imperfect form of expression to be sure.

Hope you all haven't come down with the pig flu!

Sherri said...

Telling people you CAN'T tell them about something is pure torture! Sick and twisted torture! Anyway, hi! You used to visit my old blog but it's moved and I am only now just finding my old bloggy friends again.

PS: I am secretly hoping someone I know gets the Swine Flu. I have an endless amount of pig jokes that never are overplayed.