Unspectacular?

Vodka Mom tagged me for this meme, because I am "a smart ass". With an accolade like that, how can I resist? The problem lies in the fact that I am just not unspectacular. Nope, not a bit. Every moment of my larger-than life is sparkling, scintillating, amazing. I even crap epic. But for my darling martini-mixing mamacita, I'll try to dredge up something dull and humdrum.

Are you buying this yet?

A) I am a vampire. No really, I can't abide daytime. Nothing says "what the fuck is wrong with my life?" like getting up at O Dark Hundred. I love the nightlife. I've got to boogie.

2) I love throwing dinner parties, and I'm rather good at it, but I rarely do. Every time I have a party my family comes over, and my brothers try to burn down my house. Or they chip a piece of depression glass. Or plug the toilet (it's that epic feces thing again - it's genetic or something).

D) Despite my adamance in buying only the all-natural ice cream at the grocery store, when I get near one of those accursed Dairy Queens, all bets are off. Natural-Schmatural. Butterfinger Blizzards are my personal plasma fix.

9) I am a ridiculous marshmallow animal lover (snakes, not so much). I was standing in my front yard the other night, trying to tame a baby deer to my presence, and wondering if he would like catfood or if I should just go get some corn for him. He was starting to act curious about me, when Simon started stalking him. Stupid cat - he thinks he's going to bag that deer!

Q) My mother is the reincarnation of Anne Boleyn. I bet you didn't know that. She told me herself, after a pitcher of whiskey sours, when I was 14, but I was suspicious. I mean, did Anne Boleyn really have an Irish brogue? (Sorry, that was really a spectacular piece of trivia, wasn't it? I did tell you...)

Omega) Okay, wait. I got one. An unspectacular thing about me. No, seriously, I got one. I - dammit. It's gone.

Now because I'm an acknowledged smart ass, and a rule breaker to boot, I'm not going to link to anyone. Besides, I know ya'll would kick my aforementioned buttocks. BUT, if you would like to take this meme and run with it, give me a holler and I'll append this with any and all linkage, ah-ight?

And in other news...

Bea has posted her side of our Saturday night at the Palace. It's about as close as you're going to get to an alternate or worst-case ending. (How come no one wanted the Scooby Doo ending? Or like a Pride and Predjudice one? I could have done those.)

Appended to add: No one believes I'm a smart ass? Really? I gotta lay off the touchy feelie posts for awhile - I must be getting too deep.

Oh, and I thought of one finally, for #Omega: I won't let my kids eat junk food, but when they're at school, sometimes I treat myself on the sly. Shhhh, don't tell them!