My Lips Are Sealed, Dammit

The problem with blogs is that they're open to the world, so I can't lean over and whisper the latest dirt to you, dear reader, because the dirt-ee might be tuning in.

Dammit.

Because there is so much shite going on all around me right now, and I would love to spill, but I might just get my somewhat diminished and toned, but still bulbous ass into trouble. So I can't. I have to just sit here, staring at the screen, going, "Ah damn! Nope, can't write about that! Might be incriminating evidence in a court of law. Nope, it'll be my luck that she'll pop in here, so I can't dish about "Miss C", either."

I can tell you that planning and executing my mother's 70th birthday blowout will probably mean I won't be seeing my extended family again until the 11th hour of the Christmas holidays, because I'm going to need to take a leave of absence once it's over. (So probably no Solstice party kids, sorry, but it's on a damn Monday anyway - who would even come?) I haven't received a single RSVP for said party yet, which means (maybe) it'll be a small party (I hope), but OMG, if you'ld seen the guest list, either way, it's going to be a clash of cultures. I'm thinking maybe I should hire a band, to cover the uncomfortable silences and lack of mingling. What was I thinking? If I get the flu will I still have to be hostess? (Answers: Who the hell knows, and yep, most likely.)

Oh, and ask me if I've done SHIT to get the kitchen finished.
Funny you should ask: um, nope. Nada, el zippo. And guess what? Jimmy Crack Corn, ya'll!

I'm just swimming in the apathy right now, and dang it, it's like bathwater - I really don't care if I prune up in here.

So if you really want to know the dirt, you'll have to send your email, and I'll send you the unpublished story of who might be doing jail time, and what "Miss C's" latest caper is, because OMFG kids, who needs cable, around here anyway?

***Yet Another OMFG Update***
-one I CAN post-
The Hub man has been sick with a fever that doesn't want to fully respond to Tylenol or Motrin. Other than the fever, there hasn't been a lot of other symptoms, especially respiratory-based symptoms, just really tired and feverish. He went to the doctor today, and guess the hell what? Yes, the most obvious answer here is that he has the H1N1 virus, aka the Swine Flu. Does that mean we have to quarantine the whole house now, or just him? Does this also mean that he can't bogart the TV remote for the duration? Funny, thing, this kind of cheers me up!